My Movie News

Okay, this is not something I publicly admit (in RL), but if I had a boat, Joe Jonas would be the water – or the element that enables said boat to stay afloat.  I know that’s not cool. Because you know, he’s Joe…Jonas. Not Joe Black, or even Joe Sixpack… “he’s like Mickey Mouse!” my detractors have retorted, “He’s just a kid, a Disney character!”  Hmm. I see. I see the argument there, and it’s convinced me that my infatuation with the metro-bro is a bit… embarassing. So I’ll just go ahead and lie and say that I was just joking about the whole thing. Really, I was. No really.

Okay, but do YOU have a movie coming out, in 3D?? No, didn’t think so, but  Joe Jonas does! (Oh, his brothers are in it too). Yeah, apparently the concert that had me screaming, is now burning up the screen! “So what are you saying? You’re gonna go watch this thing?” No… No! But that won’t stop me from replaying the trailer over and over until my speakers explode!

My apologies to family, friends, co-workers, neighbours or anyone remotely linked to me who might feel shamed by association. Thanks. Please don’t be concerned.

It’s not often that I get excited about a Wayans’ bros film, I simply smirk, roll my eyes and figure “oh great, ANOTHER one…”. Mind you, I do consider myself a big fan of the brothers, just not a follower of their films. Let’s face it, they’ve been lame as of late. Wait, let me just backtrack and say that I did enjoy White Chicks, I did. Even though Roger Ebert declared it the “worst movie” of that year. I guess he wasn’t the target market.

While I don’t foresee any Oscars coming their way, I’m predicting a sort of Wayan’s world revival. Enter “Dance Flick” the new movie opening later this summer. It’s a parody of all those cheesy dance movies (Step Up, Save the Last Dance, You Got Served, etc…), the ones so hugely popular amongst the teen demographic, with the terrible writing, useless plots and pretty faces. It’s a pretty easy formula to parodize.  I have high hopes for this film, because my ratio of chuckles to eye roll was about 3:1 for the trailer! High hopes folks!

I click on the Youtube “video” tab as I always do when I want to check out the latest viral “it” vid, and what’s the popular item at the moment? Christian Bale’s ballistic outburst – yes, the one where he’s NOT acting, but screaming and cursing like a little bitch. There I said it, I can’t believe it. I mean, I stood by and defended him against all the abuse allegations, because I refused to believe it and because I was so hopelessly enamoured with his acting ability and superstar street credibility. Not to mention that deliriously handsome mug of his. But this, this self-righteous lunatic-afflicted verbal lashing is just way out of line. Way out of line. For real man… a simple “Hey assh-le, stop trashing my F-ing scene!” would’ve sufficed…but no, he had to excessively deplore, decry and deride the poor dude! I mean geez…holy semantics batman!

Anyhoo, anyhoo…so I’m just gonna go ahead and post the Terminator trailer here.

What, was this whole tirade supposed to lead to a Bale-fest boycott?? Heck no! I still intend to watch this movie. Yes, the legit way. Love you CB – hate your misery!