I Must Confess… I’m One of THEM 6
I have a confession that could potentially undermine my credibility as a non-professional film critic and alienate me at future dinner conversations with friends and respected acquaintances – an admission that will surely leave me open to all sorts of ridicule and maybe even social condemnation, but here it is:
I am a Twilight fan.
There I did it. It’s admitted. But I could feel my rationality receding in embarrassment, along with my band of former supporters. Hmm… my approval ratings have dropped. The applause has stopped. I almost feel like I’m standing alone on an empty stage, under the bright spotlight of scrutiny.
An explanation is required.
Two words: Edward Cullen.
Four words: Edward Cullen – so hot.
I used to see Robert Pattinson in pictures and I just couldn’t get why girls went so ga-ga over him. He was just not that attractive! And what was the deal with Twilight? Why was it invoking such dramatic heights of hysteria? “I would never be one of those girls” I assured myself, “Those are some weird-ass beeches!” I saw it as just another Highschool Musical/Hannah Montana/Jonas Bros craze that afflicted only the young or drug-induced. Those tweens and teeny-boppers of the new-aged Disney generation whose collective obsessions obscured evidence of logic or cognitive maturation, who fled in droves to the objects of their affection like it was crack cocaine for kids. And it is. I’ve been afflicted.
I’ve finally seen the “light” in Twilight and I’m even kind of ashamed for being so adamantly against it in the first place. And now, it’s an addiction. And by “it” I mean Edward. There’s just something so magnetically appealing, something that elicits compulsive urges in me to Google his pictures and watch clips of him on Youtube and even to rewind certain parts of the movie. My favorite scene is when he ricochet’s the apple off his foot and it lands squarely in his palms. And then he smiles. Or when he first introduces himself to Bella, apologizes for their initial mishap, and then smiles. Or that part where he peers into the microscope in biology class, says a few nonsensical sentences and then, smiles. Or the iconic cafeteria scene where he walks in, slow-mo, and what do ya know? He flashes that euphoric smile and it’s like suddenly all the doves in the universe have been released into the vast, majestic sky to flutter about in search of their own cosmic bliss. Sigh…
Just hearing myself say these things makes me squirm with disbelief – this is not me? This can’t be. I sound just like those teeny-boppers I so often berate, and that makes my soul shrivel up in shame. I thought I was done with these youthful infatuations, thought I left them behind in the 8th grade with all my Taylor Hanson posters. Apparently this is not the case.
Apparently I’m just one of them – underneath the stoic façade I’m just a deranged fanatic who swoons over vampires and inaccessible lads. Is there a cure for this Cullen/Pattinson obsession? For the sake of my life’s goals, I hope the answer is yes. I can’t stay this girl forever. Sooner or later, I’ll have to forsake these inclinations and grow up for good.
I’ll have to admonish that part of me who finds fun in such useless time-wasters as Youtube-ing the “Edward Cullen Smile Tribute” (favorited!)
Sooner or later, yes.
Preferably later, as in after New Moon!