My Movie News

If this is indeed true, then the gods of cinema are GOOD!

The other day I wrote a post about 25 actors I would pay to see. Well, of those 25, there’s rumoured to be some exciting collaborations!

Ryan Gosling, Elijah Wood and Cillian Murphy have been reportedly tapped for the filming of The Mechanic, a remake of the Charles Bronson classic of the same name. Wow, that’s like a hat trick for the film world. That’s like Kovalev, Komisarek and Kostitsyn right? (Um, no. Those are just the names of three hockey players. A hat trick is three goals, duhh). Oh. Anyways, three in one is my kind of fun!

Speaking of hot collabos, let’s take a look at a few of my other notable unions in theaters this year:

Public Enemies: This one’s already been established as the big poppa of popcorn partnerships – Christian Bale and Johnny Depp, the ultimate on-screen duo. I don’t want to jinx it by being overly-excited, but damn it, I’m so excited (can I really hide it?) I still can’t find the trailer anywhere though…

Star Trek: Zachary Quinto and John Cho, and for a little six-degree of separation, John Cho is playing Hikaru Sulu, a role immortalized by George Takei, who actually starred in Heroes which is home to Zachary Quinto! Cool beans!

Year One: Laugh attacks are pretty much in the sac with Michael Cera and Jack Black, who take you back in time, Fred Flinstone-style. I’m banking on this one to be a box-office hit – the trailer’s already promising a gay old time!

Che: Benicio del Toro and Santiago Cabrera are currently in theaters with this four-hour intermission-required film experience. BdT won the Cannes award for best actor, and Santi-C gets my award for best-looking actor in a historical/war drama about Che Guevara.

And there’s ongoing talk about The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, starring Heath Leger with Johnny Depp filling in…but I have to wait til my sources (google) deliver more on that fact front.

So that’s pretty much it for now…yup, dream team supreme for the screen!

I’m happy to report that my imaginary relationship with Christian Bale is “on again”, after that little meltdown incident that left me doubting his sanity a few days ago. He has issued an apology, and it’s not one of those contrived PR statements – no, it’s the real deal, it’s his voice and what I believe to be, his genuine sentiments. Of course, he has to save face you know, after all, the success of Terminator depends largely on his likability as a person and an actor, and unfortunately he’s had some bad press lately. It’s all too ironic.

His relatively low-key life changed after he donned that fateful cape. After years of toiling away from the spotlight, he’s finally received the recognition he deserves. But now it seems he’s a household name for all the wrong reasons.

The public seems to know more about his volatile temperament than his laudable accomplishments.  I guess the media has a way of shaping people, of creating whole identities out of isolated incidents. And collectively, consumers can be easily convinced.  Sweeping statements about his anger issues are now the focal point of this man’s impressive career, and little regard is given to the sacrifices he’s made to get here.

Here’s a man who keeps it real. He’s no prima donna, there’s no false pretense, he knows he was in the wrong and he’s sorry. Call me naive, but I believe him. And seriously folks, how can one not forgive  a man with such a bad-ass accent?

Here’s the official apology/explanation/statement/excuse to hear his great English mannerisms:

020609_bale-mp4.mp4

Okay, this is not something I publicly admit (in RL), but if I had a boat, Joe Jonas would be the water – or the element that enables said boat to stay afloat.  I know that’s not cool. Because you know, he’s Joe…Jonas. Not Joe Black, or even Joe Sixpack… “he’s like Mickey Mouse!” my detractors have retorted, “He’s just a kid, a Disney character!”  Hmm. I see. I see the argument there, and it’s convinced me that my infatuation with the metro-bro is a bit… embarassing. So I’ll just go ahead and lie and say that I was just joking about the whole thing. Really, I was. No really.

Okay, but do YOU have a movie coming out, in 3D?? No, didn’t think so, but  Joe Jonas does! (Oh, his brothers are in it too). Yeah, apparently the concert that had me screaming, is now burning up the screen! “So what are you saying? You’re gonna go watch this thing?” No… No! But that won’t stop me from replaying the trailer over and over until my speakers explode!

My apologies to family, friends, co-workers, neighbours or anyone remotely linked to me who might feel shamed by association. Thanks. Please don’t be concerned.

It’s not often that I get excited about a Wayans’ bros film, I simply smirk, roll my eyes and figure “oh great, ANOTHER one…”. Mind you, I do consider myself a big fan of the brothers, just not a follower of their films. Let’s face it, they’ve been lame as of late. Wait, let me just backtrack and say that I did enjoy White Chicks, I did. Even though Roger Ebert declared it the “worst movie” of that year. I guess he wasn’t the target market.

While I don’t foresee any Oscars coming their way, I’m predicting a sort of Wayan’s world revival. Enter “Dance Flick” the new movie opening later this summer. It’s a parody of all those cheesy dance movies (Step Up, Save the Last Dance, You Got Served, etc…), the ones so hugely popular amongst the teen demographic, with the terrible writing, useless plots and pretty faces. It’s a pretty easy formula to parodize.  I have high hopes for this film, because my ratio of chuckles to eye roll was about 3:1 for the trailer! High hopes folks!

I click on the Youtube “video” tab as I always do when I want to check out the latest viral “it” vid, and what’s the popular item at the moment? Christian Bale’s ballistic outburst – yes, the one where he’s NOT acting, but screaming and cursing like a little bitch. There I said it, I can’t believe it. I mean, I stood by and defended him against all the abuse allegations, because I refused to believe it and because I was so hopelessly enamoured with his acting ability and superstar street credibility. Not to mention that deliriously handsome mug of his. But this, this self-righteous lunatic-afflicted verbal lashing is just way out of line. Way out of line. For real man… a simple “Hey assh-le, stop trashing my F-ing scene!” would’ve sufficed…but no, he had to excessively deplore, decry and deride the poor dude! I mean geez…holy semantics batman!

Anyhoo, anyhoo…so I’m just gonna go ahead and post the Terminator trailer here.

What, was this whole tirade supposed to lead to a Bale-fest boycott?? Heck no! I still intend to watch this movie. Yes, the legit way. Love you CB – hate your misery!