My Movie News

What would you say about a roller-derby film featuring an almost all female cast, directed by Drew Barrymore, starring Juno-tart Ellen Page? Boring? Lame? “Someone set my alarm clock ’cause this’ll be a snoozer?”

My thoughts trailed along those lines. I certainly did not expect to be entertained. Nor did I expect to cry, or laugh, or feel all warm inside. Well, all my non-expectations were wrong. At the end of the film, all I could think to say was “wow, that was actually really good. That was a very good movie!” My boyfriend and I turned to each other in unison, nodded and smiled, satisfied at having wisely spent our Saturday evening. (We’re old folks, that’s what we do!)

Why was ‘Whip It’ so good?

Ellen Page, that’s why. She’s the go-to girl for that dry, witty humor, or that sex-kitten without the sex part. “She’s so tiny compared to the other girls, so cute!” my boyfriend gushed during the movie. And I couldn’t agree more. There she was, like a skate-strapped mouse, brawling in a roller-derby rink with brawny femme fatales twice her size and aggression level, eschewing her frail, beauty-pageant contestant frame. And she can actually act, which makes all the difference with a light-weight script and a simple story-line.

I think what I liked most about this movie was that it epitomized the true meaning of “Girl Power” without resorting to the usual “sex as empowerment” nonsense to showcase female emancipation. Call me conservative, but sexual exploitation has nothing to do with liberation and everything to do commodification. But whatever. The point is, “Whip It” doesn’t use its female characters as props or accessories, it brings them center stage and provides them a space (in this case, a roller derby rink) to unleash that octane-fueled fury, the non-provocative wild side usually reserved for guys in race-car films and bank heists scenes.

I assume that many people didn’t actually go out and watch the film, which is a shame because it would certainly have been worth it (if you go on a five-dollar day, as opposed to a thirteen-dollar day, that is…). In any case, Whip It was a welcomed change from so much of the onscreen sludge that assaults our senses. I was once told by a Hollywood producer that most of the films that make it to theaters are targeted to males in the 18-24 demographic. Well, Whip It is kind of like the branding of Secret deodorant – you know, strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. But of of course, dudes can watch it too – and they would probably enjoy it as well!

Wow. Months have gone by since I’ve last posted. Should I even address this issue? Do people even care? Well… yes, yes of course they do. I know you’re out there reading this, because recent stats have shown that I’ve been getting more visitors in the past few months… and nothing new has been written. I’m ashamed, I really am. Truth be told, I was ready to abandon this site, simply because my interest level in films has severely waned… due to certain life changes and new developments. But after perusing through my archives, I realize this place is still my baby and like Mariah Carey, it’ll always be a part of me. I also realized that no matter what new interests I develop, I will never tire of imposing my thoughts and opinions on to other people. As such, there will be more reviews and news forthcoming. Stay tuned, and thank you!

While the rest of the world is in love with Edward Cullen, I’m currently experiencing a Keanu Reeves revival. Where was I a decade ago when his Hollywood star was glowing with buzz? I was an ignorant teeny-bopper enamored exclusively with boy-bands, overlooking true man gems, like Keanu.

There’s really no middle ground for me. When I like something, I usually develop an obsession. This is where I’m at with KC Reeves. I don’t know why I never felt this way about him before. I developed a strong interest in him after seeing The Lakehouse, but it wasn’t an overblown obsession. I have a list of his movies I can’t believe I’ve never seen, which I plan to watch this weekend, if the boyfriend agrees to it. I’ll convince him they’re good movies.

What exactly brought on this landslide of past-due emotions you ask? I’ll answer that by (mis)quoting Jay-Z, “either he’s the one or I’m caught in the Matrix”.

The MATRIX.

*LOSER ALERT:* Yes I’ve only recently taken the time to actually sit through and fully absorb the movie. I have no idea what mindset I was in back in ‘99 when the rest of the world was all over this masterpiece. I must’ve been tossed in a rolling tumbleweed and transported to a town that knows not of fine cinema. Or I was just naively waiting for Taylor Hanson to take me away and was thus oblivious to the external world. (My loser alert was right on target).

Anyways, so I watched The Matrix and now it’s monopolizing my mind, as well as my internet-browsing time. It’s been Googled, Wikipedia’d, IMDB’d and Youtubed and discussed with virtually anyone who’s asked me what I did this weekend. I was told there was even an MMORPG but that it shut down. That made me sad. You know what else made me sad? Keanu Reeve’s history. He seems to have a troubled personal life, an inner turmoil that betrays his external perfection. Try as I might, but I can’t think of anyone hotter than Keanu Reeve’s right now. Not even Christian Bale. Of course, I’m referring to the Keanu of ten years ago, but he’s still looking right, even at 45.

I don’t know what else to say at this point. The conversation’s running dry on my end. I could go on and on about how infatuated I am, but that wouldn’t do me any good. I realize this blog post was just another avenue for me to express the tidal waves of feelings I have for Keanu. I know this isn’t normal. And I know this phase will pass because they always do. I seriously feel like I’m entangled in a matrix of emotions directed at someone who isn’t completely real. But that’s what The Matrix is all about right? That our reality doesn’t truly exist, that it’s just a simulation, or projection designed to keep us compliant and in line with goals that aren’t really our own.

So what does this mean for me and Keanu? Why the hopeless devotion to a glorified idol whose revered solely on the basis of my misperceptions? This goes for all other fantasy-driven obsessions as well, including Robert Pattinson and every other admirable pretty face. It’s insane how these phases consume us and turn us into stimuli-driven, salivating psycho-trons (crazy robots) who worship sensory-enhancing celebrities who, underneath it all are just pretty plain, regular folk, almost like us. It’s harder to believe in the magic when you know how it’s made. Strangely, this doesn’t change the way I feel about Keanu Reeves! (Ok, ok it does… but it doesn’t matter right now).

I suppose it’s a good thing that Keanu is possessed with such good looks, otherwise I doubt his career would’ve taken off as far as it had. I happened to see “A Walk in the Clouds” and it almost completely turned me off of him forever. Almost. But it’s going to take a lot more than a few bad movies to turn me away from Keanu. I honestly don’t mind watching movies on mute!

This is pure awesomeness, courtesy of my new pals at Latino Review. The photo was snapped at ShoWest (yes, it’s a photo hence the discoloration and brightness) where RDJ took the stage and introduced a few clips from the movie. No word on whether this will be the official poster, but it tickled my anticipation for sure. Featuring Jude Law and Rachel McAdams, the movie opens on Christmas Day – hooray!

If there’s one thing that’s sure to trigger my anger, it’s a bad movie. And even worse, bad movies that earn top dollars at the box office. In an attempt to buck this trend (if it exists) I’ve generated a list of possibly bad movies I’ll be boycotting this year.

1. Fast and Furious

You know it’s time to fire your agent when the best they can do for you is a role reprisal of a stale franchise you did eight years ago. I mean, sure it was cool back then, maybe because we were younger and everything… but I’m guessing most of the movie’s original fanbase has grown up and moved on with their lives and no longer care about this juvenile rubbish. I bet it will be full of fast cars, hot girls, a “cool” soundtrack and bad acting by Paul Walker. Lots and lots of it – like an overflowing excess that might even spawn a FIFTH installment. Oh dear.

2. Dragonball: Evolution

Whenever I think of Dragonball I think of Asian kids with funky hair drinking bubble tea at Internet cafes in Chinatown (in my hometown of Montreal, at least). But then again, what do I know about Dragonball? I was also kind of surprised to learn that Goku would be played by a white dude – isn’t Goku Japanese? He’s not? Whatevs, as if it really matters to me.

3. Obsessed

Hmm, Ali Larter playing a character who resembles her ‘Heroes’ counterpart? I think I’ll pass. And I’m a Beyonce fan, but only when she’s singing. This movie looks to be nonsensical, and thus non-enjoyable. Better suited for NBC as a late-night thriller…or something. (My apologies to Zac!)

This is all that comes to mind right now, but I’m sure there’ll be plenty more to add, for bad movies are never in short supply.