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A Few Movies I Will NOT Be Watching 1

If there’s one thing that’s sure to trigger my anger, it’s a bad movie. And even worse, bad movies that earn top dollars at the box office. In an attempt to buck this trend (if it exists) I’ve generated a list of possibly bad movies I’ll be boycotting this year.

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1. Fast and Furious

You know it’s time to fire your agent when the best they can do for you is a role reprisal of a stale franchise you did eight years ago. I mean, sure it was cool back then, maybe because we were younger and everything… but I’m guessing most of the movie’s original fanbase has grown up and moved on with their lives and no longer care about this juvenile rubbish. I bet it will be full of fast cars, hot girls, a “cool” soundtrack and bad acting by Paul Walker. Lots and lots of it – like an overflowing excess that might even spawn a FIFTH installment. Oh dear.

2. Dragonball: Evolution

Whenever I think of Dragonball I think of Asian kids with funky hair drinking bubble tea at Internet cafes in Chinatown (in my hometown of Montreal, at least). But then again, what do I know about Dragonball? I was also kind of surprised to learn that Goku would be played by a white dude – isn’t Goku Japanese? He’s not? Whatevs, as if it really matters to me.

3. Obsessed

Hmm, Ali Larter playing a character who resembles her ‘Heroes’ counterpart? I think I’ll pass. And I’m a Beyonce fan, but only when she’s singing. This movie looks to be nonsensical, and thus non-enjoyable. Better suited for NBC as a late-night thriller…or something. (My apologies to Zac!)

This is all that comes to mind right now, but I’m sure there’ll be plenty more to add, for bad movies are never in short supply.

(my) Hollywood Dream Teams 3

If this is indeed true, then the gods of cinema are GOOD!

The other day I wrote a post about 25 actors I would pay to see. Well, of those 25, there’s rumoured to be some exciting collaborations!

Ryan Gosling, Elijah Wood and Cillian Murphy have been reportedly tapped for the filming of The Mechanic, a remake of the Charles Bronson classic of the same name. Wow, that’s like a hat trick for the film world. That’s like Kovalev, Komisarek and Kostitsyn right? (Um, no. Those are just the names of three hockey players. A hat trick is three goals, duhh). Oh. Anyways, three in one is my kind of fun!

Speaking of hot collabos, let’s take a look at a few of my other notable unions in theaters this year:

Public Enemies: This one’s already been established as the big poppa of popcorn partnerships – Christian Bale and Johnny Depp, the ultimate on-screen duo. I don’t want to jinx it by being overly-excited, but damn it, I’m so excited (can I really hide it?) I still can’t find the trailer anywhere though…

Star Trek: Zachary Quinto and John Cho, and for a little six-degree of separation, John Cho is playing Hikaru Sulu, a role immortalized by George Takei, who actually starred in Heroes which is home to Zachary Quinto! Cool beans!

Year One: Laugh attacks are pretty much in the sac with Michael Cera and Jack Black, who take you back in time, Fred Flinstone-style. I’m banking on this one to be a box-office hit – the trailer’s already promising a gay old time!

Che: Benicio del Toro and Santiago Cabrera are currently in theaters with this four-hour intermission-required film experience. BdT won the Cannes award for best actor, and Santi-C gets my award for best-looking actor in a historical/war drama about Che Guevara.

And there’s ongoing talk about The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, starring Heath Leger with Johnny Depp filling in…but I have to wait til my sources (google) deliver more on that fact front.

So that’s pretty much it for now…yup, dream team supreme for the screen!

Christian Bale Apology – Accepted! 4

christian-bale-2I’m happy to report that my imaginary relationship with Christian Bale is “on again”, after that little meltdown incident that left me doubting his sanity a few days ago. He has issued an apology, and it’s not one of those contrived PR statements – no, it’s the real deal, it’s his voice and what I believe to be, his genuine sentiments. Of course, he has to save face you know, after all, the success of Terminator depends largely on his likability as a person and an actor, and unfortunately he’s had some bad press lately. It’s all too ironic.

His relatively low-key life changed after he donned that fateful cape. After years of toiling away from the spotlight, he’s finally received the recognition he deserves. But now it seems he’s a household name for all the wrong reasons.

The public seems to know more about his volatile temperament than his laudable accomplishments.  I guess the media has a way of shaping people, of creating whole identities out of isolated incidents. And collectively, consumers can be easily convinced.  Sweeping statements about his anger issues are now the focal point of this man’s impressive career, and little regard is given to the sacrifices he’s made to get here.

Here’s a man who keeps it real. He’s no prima donna, there’s no false pretense, he knows he was in the wrong and he’s sorry. Call me naive, but I believe him. And seriously folks, how can one not forgive  a man with such a bad-ass accent?

Here’s the official apology/explanation/statement/excuse to hear his great English mannerisms:

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