My Movie News

While the rest of the world is in love with Edward Cullen, I’m currently experiencing a Keanu Reeves revival. Where was I a decade ago when his Hollywood star was glowing with buzz? I was an ignorant teeny-bopper enamored exclusively with boy-bands, overlooking true man gems, like Keanu.

There’s really no middle ground for me. When I like something, I usually develop an obsession. This is where I’m at with KC Reeves. I don’t know why I never felt this way about him before. I developed a strong interest in him after seeing The Lakehouse, but it wasn’t an overblown obsession. I have a list of his movies I can’t believe I’ve never seen, which I plan to watch this weekend, if the boyfriend agrees to it. I’ll convince him they’re good movies.

What exactly brought on this landslide of past-due emotions you ask? I’ll answer that by (mis)quoting Jay-Z, “either he’s the one or I’m caught in the Matrix”.

The MATRIX.

*LOSER ALERT:* Yes I’ve only recently taken the time to actually sit through and fully absorb the movie. I have no idea what mindset I was in back in ‘99 when the rest of the world was all over this masterpiece. I must’ve been tossed in a rolling tumbleweed and transported to a town that knows not of fine cinema. Or I was just naively waiting for Taylor Hanson to take me away and was thus oblivious to the external world. (My loser alert was right on target).

Anyways, so I watched The Matrix and now it’s monopolizing my mind, as well as my internet-browsing time. It’s been Googled, Wikipedia’d, IMDB’d and Youtubed and discussed with virtually anyone who’s asked me what I did this weekend. I was told there was even an MMORPG but that it shut down. That made me sad. You know what else made me sad? Keanu Reeve’s history. He seems to have a troubled personal life, an inner turmoil that betrays his external perfection. Try as I might, but I can’t think of anyone hotter than Keanu Reeve’s right now. Not even Christian Bale. Of course, I’m referring to the Keanu of ten years ago, but he’s still looking right, even at 45.

I don’t know what else to say at this point. The conversation’s running dry on my end. I could go on and on about how infatuated I am, but that wouldn’t do me any good. I realize this blog post was just another avenue for me to express the tidal waves of feelings I have for Keanu. I know this isn’t normal. And I know this phase will pass because they always do. I seriously feel like I’m entangled in a matrix of emotions directed at someone who isn’t completely real. But that’s what The Matrix is all about right? That our reality doesn’t truly exist, that it’s just a simulation, or projection designed to keep us compliant and in line with goals that aren’t really our own.

So what does this mean for me and Keanu? Why the hopeless devotion to a glorified idol whose revered solely on the basis of my misperceptions? This goes for all other fantasy-driven obsessions as well, including Robert Pattinson and every other admirable pretty face. It’s insane how these phases consume us and turn us into stimuli-driven, salivating psycho-trons (crazy robots) who worship sensory-enhancing celebrities who, underneath it all are just pretty plain, regular folk, almost like us. It’s harder to believe in the magic when you know how it’s made. Strangely, this doesn’t change the way I feel about Keanu Reeves! (Ok, ok it does… but it doesn’t matter right now).

I suppose it’s a good thing that Keanu is possessed with such good looks, otherwise I doubt his career would’ve taken off as far as it had. I happened to see “A Walk in the Clouds” and it almost completely turned me off of him forever. Almost. But it’s going to take a lot more than a few bad movies to turn me away from Keanu. I honestly don’t mind watching movies on mute!

Mix feelings resulted after my initial viewing of Public Enemies a few weeks ago. On the one hand, Johnny Depp gave a stand-out performance, and on the other hand the movie’s central feature of heavy artillery tired me endlessly. Gun-lovers with a reverence for violence will pee their pants with excitement, but the sissy pacifist within me was just a tad overwhelmed by the excessive bullets.

Of course, what was I expecting right? The film’s called “Public Enemies” and it’s a story about John Dillinger, infamous bank robber/tabloid fodder running from an FBI squad determined to take him down. Merciless machine guns were to be expected. Anything less would’ve been too civilized. Fair enough. That’s not even my main complaint, it’s just a simple observation on our culture’s obsession with violence – but that’s a whole other topic, reserved for a whole other time.

Let’s just get straight to the core of Public Enemies, starting with the highest point: Johnny Depp. The movie should’ve just been called “John Dillinger” because every memorable scene happened when he was in it – the elaborate bank robberies, the ingenious prison escapes, the awesome line recitals (”They ain’t tough enough, smart enough or fast enough. I can hit any bank I want, any time. They got to be at every bank, all the time.”) The tone and inflection in that phrase alone is a testament to his incredible talent. The man just oozes coolness with every stride and every smirk taking the charismatic attitude to a whole new altitude.

This is by far Johnny Depp’s best performance. The movie shines whenever he takes front and center – where he displays his gifts of charm and his deliciously seductive appeal, his smooth coolness and the way he effortlessly wins over supporters – including the press, the public (the irony) and of most importance, his lady love Billie Frechette played by Marion Cotillard, as seen in the captivating restaurant scene. Badboys are actually the antithesis of what I like, but even I could not deny Johnny D if he came on to me the way he did to her. Honestly, who wouldn’t want to be JD’s girl?

Others have stated that Depp and Cotillard lacked any true chemistry which I found hard to believe, considering their love-story was among the more interesting angles as well as the most magical. They had a spark that lit up my eyes whenever they appeared on screen – and this is apart from their superior good-looks. A friend of mine found Cotillard’s acting questionable, considering her Oscar-winning status, but I blame it on the awkward script – (”When my boyfriend finds out what you did to me, you’re going to be in big trouble.”) and then she says “fat boy”, and the whole thing came off sounding kind of silly. But Cotillard admirably injected both innocence and strength into the central female character, a coat-check girl who suddenly finds herself in the heart of John Dillinger’s notoriety.

I was originally excited for this movie because of Christian Bale, because he never disappoints, and he certainly did not as Melvin Purvis. But honestly, all I kept thinking was “outta the way, you!” (The way Homer Simpson said it when he pushes aside that little lamb) Bale was great as always, but his character was just too wooden, too naive, too spineless and too forthright to be admired. That is, until the end of the interrogation scene, when Melvin is guided by compassion instead of ruthless determination. Of course one can’t blame Christian for Melvin’s character, and from the viewer’s perspective, Melvin is not the man we root for, because our spirit lies with Johnny’s survival. The funny pants he wore won’t win him any points either.

Which leads me another point altogether – the period pieces were quite astounding – the costumes, the cars, the set, the aesthetics all came to life under the skilled instruction of Mr. Mann. The camera will be (has been) a source of contention among many film-goers and critics primarily for its HD-in-your-face clarity. Personally, at times I felt like I was watching one of those British television dramas. The ones that would prompt me to quickly change the channel. But I eventually got used to the technique and I appreciate the insider-like glimpse into the fast life of Mr. Dillinger.

I’m not qualified to judge the artistic merits of the movie, but I am able to subjectively assess whether it was enjoyable, and while I could endlessly praise Johnny’s presence, it wasn’t enough to catapult the movie into classic status. The truth is, I got bored. It’s as simple as that. I just lost interest. It peaked then it plateau’d, it delighted then it dragged. And somewhere between this beefed up bio of the intriguing, albeit seemingly fictional man, I got lost in a blaze of fierce firework and fire-cracker-like bullets.

Michael Mann was obviously very ambitious and confident in his ability to recreate, or retell Dillinger’s ill-fated tale. For the most part, it’s all very entertaining and fully-engaging. But something was missing. The entire project was a big under-taking with big stars, big guns and big egos. But where the film shines with star power, it dulls with drab dialogue. I can’t help but feel that it could have used a little more conversation and a little less ammunition – a little more soul and little less rock and roll.

I finally got around to watching How to Be, the indie-flick starring Robert Pattinson which I had been looking forward to for some time now.

Here’s the thing with almost every single movie I anticipate - it never meets my expectations (with the exception of The Dark Knight).  Granted, I have a tendency to create unrealistically high expectations, so when movies fail for me, they usually fail big time. How To Be however, was only a moderate fail.

So the story centers around a young lad named Art (played superbly by our hero of the moment, Robert Pattinson) whose miserable existence prompts him to invite an acclaimed self-help author to make him better. “I’m going to get fixed” is how Art aptly puts it. As far as first impressions go, being the socially-maladjusted, awkward and depressed individual he is, one could agree that he does indeed need “help” with integrating himself into conventional society.

Art is well-played and skillfully made to look like the social loser he’s supposed to be. The odd pairing of too-short gray slacks with pink Converse shoes, the unruly mop and the lanky stride are all designed to subvert his intense good-looks. (And while this is indeed a far cry from the suave and mysterious Edward Cullen, it’s virtually impossible to mask his inherent handsomeness).

Robert Pattinson is extremely like-able and pitiful at the same time - which means he’s done his part well. He’s funny when he needs to be and this helps break the monotony of the movie. When Art gets fired from his job, he ruefully protests “but I’m a volunteer”, and when his girlfriend breaks up with him, he fabricates stories of a woeful childhood hoping she’ll sympathize with him. And when she doesn’t, we certainly do. Or at least I do anyway. (Come on now, it’s Robert Pattinson!)

Having an endearing central protagonist is the only way to keep the film afloat, because unfortunately Art is surrounded by characters who just aren’t that appealing – namely, his two friends whom I found to be rather annoying and his parents, who, though were just carrying out their intended roles, also left me cold.

Dr. Levi Ellington, the self-help author added a fun dimension to the film, but isn’t used to his full potential, and when the script calls for him to state the unhumorus obvious, his character becomes stale.

Now, why was I disappointed with the story?

Well, here were my expectations:

I like movies that can change my life. Since I’m kind of undergoing my own quarter-life crisis I was hoping for something that would inspire, that would offer up answers in the “what is life all about?” department. Of course, that’s just a lofty expectation, because expecting a movie to “change your life” is like hoping a song will solve your problems – these can empathize with you, but can never replace personal real-world experience… and I’m acutely aware of all this… but still. Still.

Secondly, seeing as how the film bills itself a comedy, I was looking forward to witnessing some truly comedic moments, you know, moments that would force me to slap my fellow spectator out of sheer laughing madness or something. I easily recognized all the moments where I was supposed to laugh, but frankly those moments were just too trite to be funny. Maybe it’s a British humor thing that I didn’t quite grasp, I don’t know. If I had to choose one word to describe the film, that word would be “quirky”.

Now this is hardly a bad movie, for I’ve seen much worse (New in Town for example – a new low in terrible), but it all feels too simple. Here’s a guy who’s having a lot of trouble adjusting to life, who’s got extremely weak ties with his parents, who’s jobless and loveless and who strongly believes he needs help. But most of all, he just doesn’t know how to be “normal”. He feels there’s something inherently wrong with the way he is and he just can’t figure it out.

Of course, normalcy is a social construct. I mean, how many people are truly “normal” anyways, right? We all have our little idiosyncracies, our flaws and our insecurities. We just try the best we can to adhere to the standards set out for us, whether we truly want to or not. It isn’t too long until Art realizes that the people around him are no less “maladjusted” than he. For instance, his parents’ icy detachment and lack of emotion, and his friend’s phobia of literally stepping out into the real world. Art then, is no more an anomaly than anyone else.

As these truths get discovered you can appreciate the movie’s intended message. How to be? Just be yourself. What to do in life? Just do what you like. It’s plain and simple – of course no one needs a movie to clarify this. And perhaps it’s my own fault for hoping a movie will yield the key to my happiness. Still, this over-simplification leaves me unsatisfied and uninspired.

I guess it was the idea of the movie that I really liked. When I go back and watch the trailer I think of how much potential it had, how enlightening and entertaining it could have been. I think of how it could have spoken to a generation of kids who’s lives are somewhere in limbo between late adolescence and true adulthood, who lack the direction to steer their lives towards a meaningful course. Films are gifted with the power to transform, or at least to engage its viewers in a dialogue of insightful awareness and introspection. But when they under-utilize their strengths they remain nothing more than a moving picture-book of mediocrity.

How to Be sails along quite nicely if you’re in it just for the Pattinson-ship and the random, temporary funnies as well as the cute audio tracks dispersed throughout. And yes, while it is a film that strums its own tune, it never quite blossoms into a full song – the melody’s there, but lyrically, there’s nothing memorable here.

Sweetness! Michael Cera likes Asian girls!

Albeit, those on the quirkier end of the spectrum, but it’s all good. I mean, I’ve always known he was dating Charlyne Yi, but now it’s officially visible, as seen in the upcoming mocumentary (as they call it) Paper Heart which centers on an endlessly fascinating topic: True Love.

Charlyne, is a non-believer who’s on a mission to discover what love is really all about. Along the way she meets Michael Cera and we (giddy me) get to watch as their romance blossoms! I know, I’m definitely not doing the movie’s premise any justice. To be honest, I couldn’t care less about “True love”, I’m just excited to see the intimate interactions between this oddly cute couple. The trailer looks very promising – too bad it’ll only be a limited release (why do they do that?).

All I have to say is that Charlyne is one lucky girl. Damn it Michael, where were you when I was on a mission to discover true love, huh?!

(Update: Apparently they’re not dating in real life. Screw this. But check out my review, coming soon!)

My motivation’s been M.I.A lately even though Blockbuster season is in full swing. It just feels kind of pointless to write anything worth reading when you’re pretty certain your audience base is smaller than the latest iPod incarnate.

But I think I’ve been submerged in self-pity long enough – there’s no point in stalling anymore. I mean, hey, YOU’RE reading this right? And that’s all that matters . Plus, the movie-viewing world needs my opinions or the motion picture industry as we know it will collapse. So I’m back.

Okay, I’m kind of lying. I actually have to credit the lack of updates to my feelings on Terminator. I saw it not too long ago but I couldn’t figure out exactly what I wanted to say about it.

How do you approach a movie that you’ve waited so long to see, but were severely let down by? How do you evaluate the performance of your favorite actor who’s image is now obviously tarnished by an infamous incident on the set of said film? What do you do when you don’t want to criticize a movie that pretty much sucked quite badly? Well, a fair critic would objectively analyze the film, pointing out its flaws and defending its merits. But as you know, I’m not really a film critic…

So here’s my completely biased, pseudo-review of Terminator: Salvation.

Christian Bale was awesome. The movie was spectacular. All the top-notch special effects, man against machine fight sequences, killers on wheels, menacing air crafts, full-bodied explosives and the raw, gritty feel of the post-apocalyptic landscape combined to create a timeless masterpiece. Not to mention the extensive character development, the thoughtful dialogue, the nifty plot twists and the human-cyborg love angle. And to top off this cornucopia of awesomeness was the commendable end quote “There is no fate, but what we make.” That’s really all I have to say. Four stars, two thumbs up, hands down the best blockbuster of the season, bolstered in no small part by Bale’s magnetic screen presence. I sure hope he meant it when he said “I’ll be back.”

Hmm. I myself can’t tell if I’m being sarcastic. Maybe I really did like the movie. Perhaps it wasn’t all that bad. I guess it’s just a matter of weighing it against expectations, and initially mine were as high as a T-Rex on stilts. Maybe I should go back and re-watch it, this time tuning my expecto-dial to zero, so that I could emerge fully satisfied at having witnessed a relatively laudable cinematic accomplishment. Yes, it deserves a second viewing.

Honestly, I don’t really need an excuse to do a Christian Bale double-take. Man, I am such a girl.